What do you juggle right now? What occupies your heart? Where do you put your attention right now?
We have something in our lives that is difficult to get through. We struggle with how to manage our time, we may struggle with how we are going to pass the test, we struggle with our work, we struggle with how to decide for our future, and we struggle with how we are going to fulfill all our responsibilities, we struggle on thinking our purpose and what we really want in our lives. It seems constant that we find ourselves facing difficulties, discomfort, and inconvenience. It feels frustrating when we are not able to meet our expectations and finish everything that we juggle. Even if we believe we have accomplished everything, we are easily disappointed when we think we are still at our starting place. We tend to be suffocated and drowning with all the responsibilities on our shoulders. When we are consumed with so many things, we feel exhausted and tired.
But then, the Lord reminds me of the essence of suffering and struggle. These experiences of having difficulties are necessary to allow me to be more dependent on God and to get closer to Him. The more we suffer, the more we should get closer to God. Also, the Lord reminds me that the more we suffer, the more He wants to purify our hearts toward the desire that we pursue.
Right now, I know I’m truly battling with everything I’m fighting for, including my academics, workloads, mission service, and other personal matters. I am a graduating accounting student but already working in the corporate world. Every day is the same in my life. I got up at 4:30 a.m. to prepare for work and return home between 7:30 and 8:00 p.m. Thus, I spend my whole day working and at night I make sure that I am doing my mission of fulfilling my Yes to the Lord by attending meetings, household, and other events. And many times, I need to start my day at 2 a.m. in order to complete my academic responsibilities because that is the only spare time I have. But as time passed, I caught myself exhausted and tired. I found myself acting out of necessity. I noticed myself grumbling about the things the Lord was asking me to perform. I’m disappointed because, as much as I want to do everything, my prayer life appears to be the one that is being sacrificed. Yes, I never forget to pray, but I know I wasn’t able to spend as much time with the Lord since my heart wants to always hurry to juggle everything. . Because of disappointments, worries, doubts, and tiredness, I find it difficult to see God and hear His voice. With all those moments, my heart is asking the Lord to reveal Himself to me. I am like a child who is searching for her parents all along.
But one day, while reflecting on what is going on with my life and with my relationship with the Lord, I realized that in the middle of all those situations of wanting to carry out everything, my heart feels unrest yet hopeful. I’ve realized that despite how I struggle every day to pursue everything, I know that there is something within me that keeps me pushing through. And I realized that I find my heart filled with joy. Being joyful is far deeper than being happy. Because happiness is the emotion affected by the circumstances, joy remains even if the situation is not favorable and easy. Then I realized that all along that I am searching for God, He is constantly present. The Lord used my struggle for me to recognize and value the joy He put in my heart.
“ Joy is not the absence of suffering. It is the presence of God” – Robert Schuller
I have realized 3 things:
- Joy comes from the presence of God
I realized that for many days I am asking the Lord to speak to me and to show up in my life, He is constantly there, dwelling within me. The joy that I am feeling is the joy the Lord keeps on putting in my heart. All along, He is present. All along, He never left me alone even at the moment that I was not able to recognize Him. Joy can only be found in His presence as joy is the fruit of the Holy Spirit. God desires not just me to be happy but to have joy that remains.
- Joy enables us to endure
I may be in my tough moments, but I know that I am capable of pushing through because of the joy that comes from the Lord that gives value to my actions. Joy enables me to continue knowing that God always saves me and always gets my back.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” James 1:2-3
- Joy flows when we do things out of love
We will find joy when we do things out of love and when we choose to see things in the eyes of love. I realized that even if I feel overwhelmed with so many things, yet I caught my heart feels like being carried by grace all along. Love does not excuse me from suffering but it enables me to see the beauty and value of what I am doing.
May we keep the joy in our hearts no matter how much we struggle in pursuing our mission, our studies, our work, and other things in our lives. It is normal to get tired because it only tells us that we are humans, but in whatever we do, when we do it out of love and offer it to the Lord, we can able to see the gift of the joy of knowing that in all season, He is with us and always ready to carry us. Let’s push through carrying joy that comes from the Lord.
About the Author
Ate Jiezel Delfin is our Mission Volunteer from the Area of Cavite. She currently serves as the Area Servant.
