Before entering MFC Youth, my relationship with God was not a strong one. When I get an opportunity to connect with God, I would pass on them, prioritizing other things like my school work, family and friends. God was never my top priority as I was the type who would attend mass every Sunday with my family just for the sake of going. I always took God for granted as I would only pray when I need or want something from Him. Despite the shaky relationship that I had with God, I somehow felt that He was still trying to pursue me no matter how many times I rejected Him as more opportunities to know Him came.
Back in April 2016, I was invited to attend the Youth Camp by my tutor. At first, I hesitated because I was shy and afraid that I would not fit in with the group because I am not a ‘holy’ person. However, I still went for it as I felt that this could be the moment where I would find myself and bring me closer to God. After attending the youth camp, I continued to be an active member of MFC Youth as without this group of people, I would not know what I would have become or where I would be today. The group was a safe place for me to learn, grow and share my own stories. I did not look back ever since and I continued to give my ‘yes’ to God and serve Him. But as we all know saying ‘yes’ does not mean that everything will get easier or better as we will all face many trials of our own.
In September 2017, my father was sent to the hospital because he got a heart attack. That very same month, I had to sit for my National ‘N’ Level Examination, where I was aiming to be in the top 10% percent of the entire national cohort to qualify for the Polytechnic Foundation Programme (PFP) and get into a course and college of my choice. It was a stressful year as I did not know how to manage my studies while having an unconscious loved one in the ICU. I still went to school during this period, keeping all my feelings to myself, not wanting to burden my friends and feel their pity. I would also visit my father after school and study in his room as I still wanted to achieve my goal. Weeks went by and I started to feel hopeless and tired, leading me to doubt God and the building relationship that I have with Him because it felt like He was absent. Until one day, a doctor came into my fathers’ room and told me how strong and hardworking I was and that every effort was going to pay off.
The doctors’ words made me feel hopeful that everything will be alright. Through the grace of God, my father came back to my family and continued to get better. The MFC Youth SG family, along with my other family and friends, were always there for my family and I as they never stopped to check in on us and pray for us. Without their love and support, I would not be emotionally and physically strong enough to have a positive mindset. God has continued to shower His blessings as my father got discharged a few months later and I was the top in my batch, reaching my goal to be in PFP. Currently, I am finishing my final year of college and still giving my all to God by being part of the servants for MFC Youth SG. During the times I felt that God was absent, He has shown me that He was always with us and that He is capable of working miracles. His love was represented by the people around us, who supported my family and I through this trial. In Joshua 1:9 He says, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Ate Pauline Tolentino is the Area Servant in MFC Youth Singapore.
