Humility is one of the things that is always being taught to us here in the community. Some say that the meaning of humility is swallowing your pride, while some say it is admitting your weaknesses. Some say humility is denying yourself and only proclaiming the greatness of God – the less of me, more of God’s attitude – while some say it is being open for corrections. I believe that all of us have already heard somewhere at some point what humility means. However, God taught me something new about humility during this time of new normal.
I am the kind of person who is very firm and strong (or at least that is what I thought). As long as I can, I will do things without complaining. As long as I can endure, I will continue. As long as it is possible though difficult, I will say yes. Actually, I always say yes (or at least I used to). Maybe this is the reason why I cannot understand those people who are afraid to commit and bet their all to God. That was me until my new normal school year online classes started. I really said to myself that this year, I will do my best effort to really value this gift of education given to me by God through the effort of my family. However, things didn’t go as smoothly as planned. I was literally taken out of my comfort zone. I am having a hard time adjusting to this new way of learning. I cannot distinguish anymore my personal time, my time for studying, my time for my family, and my time for God. I got so busy to the point that my prayer life is being compromised. I got so caught up by studying to the point that I am now afraid to commit and to say yes to different services being tapped to me. I did my best, but still, there were a lot of frustrations. It is like my best is not enough. I reviewed so hard for my exams, I gave ample time for my school tasks, but I was not satisfied with the results. I gave my all, but I still failed.
Upon reflecting, I was able to assess that I became boastful and self-dependent. I focused on myself and my studies. I focused on the gift and forgot the One who gave it to me. I became afraid of putting my trust in the Lord. I failed to humble myself and hold on to His grace – the grace that can get me through anything. I relied on myself and looked at what it brought me: failures, pains, and frustrations. One thing I have realized from this is that there is really grace in humility. God can do so much better when we humbly put our trust in Him than what we can do when we rely on ourselves.
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, and to those who are called according to His purpose.” – Romans 8:28
Brent Balda is a Mission Volunteer of MFC Youth serving in the area of NCR North.