Most of the time, being seen makes us feel at peace because it allows us to be recognized and acknowledged by other people. But more than these, being seen helps us to tell other people without explaining it directly to them what we are going through and where we are coming from which is necessary in order for us to be validated and understood. In a similar way, this is how we also perceive God – He is always watching us that’s why He always understands us.
But, I cannot deny the fact that when the waves of challenges become nonstop, I ask the Lord why it feels like He is just allowing me to be drowned in those waves. It seems like He is not doing anything to reach my hand and help me get out of that deep water. I just need some time to breathe but it seems that the world is not willing to cooperate. Everything is getting tougher and tougher once again — many deadlines to meet, situations that test my patience arise, feeling pain and sickness almost everyday, feeling left out, and always misunderstood. I’m really tired and drained, and all I want is rest. But why does it look like everything that is happening to me is the opposite of what I’m longing and praying for? It feels like I’m not deserving to have peace even just at once because He doesn’t see and hear my cry anymore, that’s why nothing changed in my situation.
Therefore, if I will be asked if what episode really struck me the most in “The Chosen” series, I’ll go for Season 2, Episode 2 entitled “I Saw You” because when everything gets tough and unsure, I caught myself becoming Nathanael too — already questioning God, doubting and slowly losing trust to what He can do into my life. Just like him, I pray and everything I do is offered to Him. That’s why sometimes, it becomes difficult for me to accept if I have these simple desires which are not easily granted, and I started to think that He doesn’t see me because He doesn’t know my needs.
But upon watching this episode, as Nathanael was slowly recognizing that the Lord has never turned His face from him in his time of distress, God made me realize that all of us also was seen by Him always – whether it’s in our victorious days or moments of defeats. The truth is, we feel unseen and unheard because our eyes and ears are too focused on seeking our own desires over the greater things that the Lord has in store for us. We felt misunderstood by God without realizing first that it is us, who doesn’t spend more time listening and understanding what He is saying to us. We felt alone and abandoned, well in fact, it is also us who boxed ourselves in our own world and distant from Him when we have these prayers that He wants to be answered in a different way, and not according to our own will.
In short, in times of suffering, it’s maybe us who don’t see and fully recognize the presence of the Lord in our lives because we doubt and become impatient immediately, and we don’t give Him an opportunity to prove His greatness to us. But on the contrary, we can clearly see that God really saw us – God really saw you! It may be hard to believe, but this is the truth. He is with us, no matter where we go. He is comforting us when we need someone to lean on. He is always watching us to fully understand what we are going through. We just need to open our eyes, together with our hearts to fully acknowledge that He is always present. May we always remember that in times of doubt and troubles, it is only through faith that makes us believe and hope even on the things unseen.
Trisha Mendoza is a Mission Volunteer of MFC Youth serving in the area of NCR East