Why do we say “why me” whenever we are called? All too often than not, when we were kids, we are asked what we envision ourselves to be in the future. We are asked what we want to be. Who we aspire ourselves to be. Sometimes it can be overwhelming and a bit pressuring on our side. What do we know, anyway? We knew not much of the world. We only knew that the possibilities were endless.
Fast forward to now when we’re young adults and now part of a missionary community. It is our call to evangelize. Presently, the question that has overwhelmed us has changed. It’s more than just a question, actually. It’s a calling. Most often than not, when we are called, we quickly ask, “why me?”. We’d wonder why we’re part of the “pool of choices” for this line of work in the first place. We find it absurd for having been called when we can list a number of reasons for why we are unready and unworthy. We think of how incapable we are for the call. We know who we have been, and we know how much potential we have for making mistakes.
But I guess that’s where we are wrong. We see a calling as a calling for who we’ll become and not as what we will be doing. When we were kids, we were asked what we wanted to be. That’s why many aspired to be successful people. Many aspired to be rich. Many aspired to have titles and professional jobs. But not enough people asked what we wanted to do. Not enough people asked us what problems we wanted to solve. What mattered for us was who we will become. So the process of becoming that person whom we aspire wasn’t quite part of our equation.
When we are called to be missionaries, we ask, “why me?” because we think that a calling is ultimately about us. We think that what we possess was the reason for our calling. That’s why we say the famous lines “I’m not ready” and “I’m not worthy.” We think that it’s about who we are that supports the reason for our call. But it’s not.
When God calls us, He asks us to take a leap of faith. A leap of faith that is rooted in our desire to be Holy. Our ultimate goal is to be in Heaven with Him. And while it is not a secret that it is in our human nature to make mistakes. It is true that we can never be perfect here on earth. But we can always strive to be one. Everything we decide to do on earth should be a step closer to heaven. Everything should be a step we ought to take because we desire for ourselves, Holiness. So you see, a calling is more of a call to action. It’s not a call to be someone. But to do something. It’s not a call to be the next Peter, Thomas, Mother Teresa, etc. It’s a call to act in pursuit of Holiness. Holiness is pursued not just by you or me, but by everyone. So maybe next time when we are called for a mission, we don’t say “why me?” but “what can I do, Lord?”.
Kiana Gualberto is a Mission Volunteer for MFC Youth serving in the region of Visayas.