In this generation, there is this question that people find it hard to answer: “Paano ba ako magiging masaya? What is true joy?”. We are in the times where a lot of people seem lost in finding true joy. A lot of people are misled into being truly joyful. Some of us are happy with where we are right now.
I’ve heard this episode when I was having a painful experience in the mission where I felt that I am not capable of loving, I am not an efficient missionary or the pandemic sucked out the joy in my heart. And in those times I didn’t know how to address this because I was alone in this journey. I felt that the joy that I had in the physical mission was different than the mission that I have now. It was like I’m stuck in the desert.
Upon reflecting on those experiences, I realized that the reason why I am in the desert is because I focused too much on the result (joy) rather than the joy (inner joy). I was too focused on the things that are far ahead rather than the joy of enjoying the process.
I recognize that God loves me and will not deliberately cause evil in my life. I just have to rest in the love of God. Rest doesn’t mean taking a night off or taking a leave, but rather coming back into His presence by being vulnerable and submissive to Him again. There are moments where we close our hearts from His messages because we don’t want Him to take control. Resting in His presence means letting things happen, even pain, because we acknowledge that everything is for our own good (Rom. 8:28 We know that all things work for good for those who love God”). He uses these moments to purify us. Purification leads to salvation.
Because of these, I was able to embrace again to walk in the path of the cross. I was able to find this inner joy in my heart that I found in suffering. It gives me joy in the suffering because I am experiencing the way that Jesus did. Embracing suffering and finding joy in it allows us to love purely.
Whenever we rejoice even in our suffering, it allows us to have deeper intimacy in the Lord and it gives us a heart of gratitude knowing that it is Him working.
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Kuya Mac De Leon is a former Full Time Missionary in MFC Youth now serving in MFC Singles as the National Coordinator.
