Surrender is an act of giving up completely and letting go of the hows and whats of one’s life. It is not an easy task, and it is one of those ‘easy to say but hard to do’ kinds of things. If we think about it, we can find ourselves having a hard time yielding and losing control over our lives because it is in our nature to fight and not give up. People are born fighters. Ever since our first heartbeat, we fought our way through life – from our mothers’ womb to where we are right now. But let us indulge and dig deeper. What are we fighting for? Have we reached our goal and the very reason why we are still fighting?
These past few months of our lives, we’ve been fighting, not just physically, but also mentally and spiritually. This is because of the pandemic. Each one of us has endured so much to be in where we are right now. All of us are struggling with how we will cope up with this new normal that is already conquering our lives. I can attest that it is not easy transitioning from what we’re used to before to this new normal. As I continued my life in this pandemic, honestly speaking, I’m having a hard time coping up emotionally and spiritually. I’ve been overthinking what will happen to my life now that we are in this kind of situation.
I am in my last term in college when the pandemic started. The first few months of quarantine put me in a difficult situation, thinking about what will happen for the next few months because I’ve already planned my life for this year (2020). I took over control of my life by having these plans because I was pressured, and I don’t want to disappoint my family and the people around me. It’s like I have it calculated already for everything to fall into their places. Feeling the pressure, even though people aren’t saying directly to me that they have high expectations for me, is not healthy. These plans that I have designed solely according to my perception of life didn’t do any good either.
Little did I know that whatever it is in my mind is not really what is meant for me. All those emotional and spiritual struggles that I had been facing was the result of me being in control of my life. I have forgotten that before all of this happened, I was juggling my studies with me being a daughter, a friend, and most especially a servant of God for those past years. All those times happened without me being in control and just surrendering my life to the Lord. Those past few years I have survived, was because it was God who’s in control. He was the one who’s in charge of the story of my life. It took me long enough to realize these things but I am grateful to God’s unending persuasion in my life, constantly reaching me when I wasn’t able to lift my hands to hold His. God did not stop until I came back to my senses that I should have not taken control over my life because the future is still unknown to me. Yes, it is fine to have plans for our lives but let God be the master of all those plans that we have. Let us offer and surrender those plans and have God take control of all of it.
Fully surrendering our lives to God doesn’t mean that you don’t get to have your own life. It’s just that you are walking through life and experiencing it with The One who made it possible for you to have a life.
We all have these moments in our life that we encounter God’s love and His greatness that helped us to go back to the plot of the story that God made for us. It’s just that sometimes we are more focused on what we want in life rather than on how to dwell in God’s plan for our lives. Know that the God who made all those successes and victories happened in your life is the same God who will help you in the challenges and hindrances you are facing in life. Take each moment and happenings with gratitude for the Lord, and everything else will follow. It may not be clear to all of us how God works in our life but surrendering to Him is enough to know that He is working in our life.
Winning the fight isn’t always the answer. Sometimes it’s just about accepting defeat and fully surrendering because it requires a much braver and stronger heart. To fully surrender is to never let go of God’s hand even when we experience how bumpy and rough the road can get in this journey we call life.
Lindzay Calibara is a Mission Volunteer of MFC Youth serving in the area of NCR Central.