How can I describe my SHOUT experience? Well it was mixed, I had a lot of fun with everyone, I started doing household chores that I don’t usually do at home. I got even closer with God with all those regular prayers that we had. That was the “external” experience. Spiritually speaking, I can’t find a word to completely describe what I want to say. I was able to lead my first ever worship, and it went well even though I was nervous and pressured.
What really had an impact on me was Kuya Dylan Reyes’ session, Call to Humility, what kuya Karlo Marbida, our district servant, did to the brothers really struck and broke me down. We’re talking about kuya Karlo Marbida! A big name in the District of Imus, he has gone through a lot, and then I saw him at that moment, kneeling before me, and washing my feet, I couldn’t even look at him, I’m just a kid from Dasmariñas who is just new in the community, and that’s what I see, one of the higher-ups kneeling before me, washing my feet and kissing it.
At that moment, my heart was overwhelmed. Deep inside I was saying, “I don’t deserve this, I’ve committed so many sins yet I’m still here.” Even though the first session, given by ate Kaye Matignas, talked about how God chose us to be a part of the district core, I suddenly lost it. I started crying, the tears wouldn’t stop flowing, and then when I returned to my place inside, I broke down even more when I saw the cross, it struck me so hard how Jesus died for us, for me, and yet I still commit sins that hurt him. I suddenly started questioning Him in my thoughts, “Why am I here? I don’t deserve this.” That was when I made the most sincere apology I ever did to God, the feeling was so intense at that moment, I couldn’t stop crying. God was always there to forgive me, even though I kept on continuing to sin, I guess that was the moment when I truly felt that God loves me unconditionally, the intense feeling started turning positively and I was strengthened to continue the mission that God gave me.
I know there are other people more deserving than me to be a member of the district core, but God has a better plan for me, for you, for all of us. So I know that this is just one of His challenges for me to grow, both physically and spiritually. It may be hard but I know that God gives His toughest battles to His hardest soldiers. This is the life I chose, I’m not turning my back on in any moment of my life, I will forever be a member of this community, for this community was the instrument that God used to put me back in the right path, and I’m not wasting the chance He gave me.
Shared by Sylvester De Leon
District of Cavite