CFC YFL Conference 2013. It’s just so amazing how the Lord reveals His will in my life right before this big event in our community. We’ve been through a major family problem for the past few months and I was thinking all the while that my parents would not allow me to join the Conference in Quezon because we also gone through financial difficulties. But through the grace of God, he allowed me to experience His greatness as He let me join this year’s conference.
When I got there, it was like I felt nothing. I wasn’t excited at all and it was like I wasn’t able to see the goodness of the Lord that was just right before my eyes. The simple mistakes committed, the things done wrong was that of a very big deal for me. For a moment I felt like a perfectionist. It was just the little things done incorrectly bothered me so much that it intensified the numbness I was feeling inside. Even the worships didn’t empower me.
But all these things changed during the second night of the Conference. Actually during the last two Conferences I attended, I didn’t pay much attention to the sessions in the second night. I just sleep in my chair and wake up when it is already time for the closing worship of that night. But this time, it was different. I listened intently to Kuya Cocoi’s talk and I did not sleep for the first time. The Lord just told me that night that I need not to be fearful because He is with me always. And perhaps the most striking line I heard was this: “sa Diyos kahit talo na, naipapanalo pa.” It was simply a night full of inspiration and affirmations and I knew for sure that even when I let go of God’s hands, His hands are and will always hold me no matter what.
After the talk, there was an activity, it was a reflection where we were led to a prayer and asked to answer some questions about faith. I wasn’t really serious in answering the questions. And all of a sudden the people behind me started crying and at the back of my mind I was saying to myself, “Ano ba yan, ang OA nila. Para simpleng question lang ganun na sila.” A few minutes after that, the Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament followed and we were asked to kneel down. Again, I felt the numbness I felt during the first day. “Ano ba to, sila lang ata anak ng Diyos eh. Kasi sila lang ang nakararamdam ng ganyan. Ba’t ba ang manhid ko ngayon?” I asked myself.
But I found the answers right before my eyes when the Blessed Sacrament is being brought up to the stage. I remember Kuya Cocoi telling us to lift to the Lord our fears. And so I did it. And when I started doing it, tears came falling down from my eyes. A few moments later I found myself surrendering my fears, my service, and my whole life to the Lord. “Lord, alam Mo kung saang parte ng buhay ko na nag-fail ako. Provide me the courage and the wisdom so that I may be able to give You everything that I have and be excellent in what I do. Tonight, Lord, I give you my all and my commitment is to be fearless for you oh Lord. Teach me and guide me kasi alam kong hindi magiging madali ang lahat ng ‘to.” This was my prayer and I remember it very clearly.
That was actually the first time that I appreciated the commitment ceremony because like I said earlier, I just sleep during those times of the Conference. But it was just amazing how the Lord surprises me with His plans for my life. Even if I am a failure, even if I hurt Him so much, still He loves me so immensely. During that night, I felt his presence right in my very midst. I felt His great love abounding within me. I am weak, but I know [that] His spirit is very strong in me.
After the commitment ceremony was worship. It was the first time ever in my three years in the community that I was crying in worship. I was singing to the top of my lungs and I was raising my hands very high and I was singing my praises to the Lord with everything that I have. I simply entrusted my heart to Him and my battle cry is to go the ends of the earth for Him!
Perhaps the best thing I learned in this Conference is to give my life to the Lord. I need to place my full trust in Him because I know that everything else will follow. Everything will fall into its right place in His perfect timing. I know He has His plans and I know that when He does what He wants with my life, I am living the best life ever. I am given the gift of faith and this faith has already been my life because the Lord is constantly working in me and I know that I am a work in progress, He will continue to change and transform me from deep within. With such a simple yes to His will, I am experiencing the things I never imagined I would be doing and I firmly believe that my life will never be the same again. With faith, I will set the world on fire. Because He has loved me this much, with all I am I will worship Him until my last breath!
By Giselle Belcina, District of Naval